The Wildest Stories from Kingdom Come 2: Delivering Mayhem and Laughter

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Medley of Absurd Side Quests

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece brimming with unexpected absurdity. The following recounts some of the most ludicrous side quests encountered while exploring the unpredictable world of Bohemia. These tales avoid main storyline spoilers, focusing solely on the game's uniquely charming, unpredictable adventures.

Table of Contents:

• Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
• Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
• Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
• Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
• Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
• Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

Želejov, a town boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two indolent troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical conquest. Their ambition, however, lacks funding, instruments, and a coherent artistic vision.

Image: ensigame.com

Henry, eager to assist, undertakes a series of tasks. He steals a lute (risking arrest), only to have its strings snapped. New strings, crafted from sheep intestines, are demanded. Further obstacles arise: the bards owe the innkeeper and refuse to work off their debt, deeming it beneath their genius.

After countless errands, the troubadours finally possess everything needed: instrument, freedom, and inspiration. Their reward? A soul-crushingly dull song glorifying Henry's mundane exploits (theft, sheep butchering, and baggage carrying). The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and the player erupts in laughter.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

The troubadours' strings require crafting by Vojtěch, a drunken hunter who encountered wolves and climbed a tree. The rescue involves carrying him back to camp, saving his horse, and sobering him up, leading to an alliance. However, delivering him directly to the tavern offers an alternative.

Image: ensigame.com

This path was chosen, resulting in a trek through forests and swamps with a disgruntled Vojtěch slung over the shoulder. His reaction upon arrival? Anger, complaints, and a refusal of further assistance. Their next encounter yielded only a grudging offer of a scenic view behind his shack.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

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The Polovtsians, responsible for Henry's family's tragedy, are encountered in a tavern. A planned confrontation takes an unexpected turn. Instead of violence, socializing ensues, leading to matchmaking, excessive drinking, and a bizarre group singalong.

A philosophical dog interrupts, lecturing Henry on life's purpose and challenging him to a lake swim (the "Don't Drown!" quest). Survival, punctuated by uncontrollable laughter, follows.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

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After mastering stealth and burglary, a botched heist transforms Henry into Bohemia's Public Enemy Number One. A seemingly minor oversight—failure to remove flashy accessories and wash off incriminating odors—leads to a near-arrest. The game's attention to detail is strikingly evident.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

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A stolen horse is intended for sale to Mikolaj, a gypsy horse trader. However, Mikolaj's sleep, the horse's escape, and a prolonged porridge-eating session create a hilarious delay before the sale is finally completed.

Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Image: ensigame.com

These anecdotes merely hint at the game's unique charm. Every decision, no matter how insignificant, creates surprising consequences. The commitment to realism and immersion ensures each playthrough is a distinctive and unforgettable experience. Bohemia awaits!